My Survivorship A to Z Guide

Like a support group, pairing provides an opportunity to share your emotions with another person going through a similar experience and to learn practical suggestions.

It's up to you whether it is better to find a person who is close to your age and life experiences, or an opposite, or anywhere in between. You can try a few individuals until you find the one that is best for you (and him or her).

Your health care team may be able to help pair you with another person. Also consider contacting an organization such as Imerman Angels .

The key is to remember what worked for you in the past.

If there's a question, think back over the difficult periods in your life. Look for the common elements that helped you through.

Perhaps some coping mechanisms worked better than others. Focus on the ones that worked best for you.

If what worked for you in the past doesn't help, talk with other people going through a similar experience to learn what's helped them. Perhaps their tips will work for you as well. If not, seek professional help.

A positive attitude can make you feel better. 

A positive attitude does not mean being a pollyanna and being positive all the time. We're all human. We all have down times and negative thoughts. However, if we observe our thoughts, we can change them. The more we practice, the easier it becomes.

Looking at the glass as half full, or looking for the silver lining, doesn't change the reality of your life -- but it does make it easier.

• Let go of the things that don't matter any more.
• Focus your strength on what you need to do to win your battle.
• If your diagnosis brought a new view of life, focus on it -- or the new path that may be opening.

To help keep a positive attitude, spend time with people who are supportive and non-judgmental.

Look for humor in your daily life. It's there. There are even seminars that teach humor.

If it's easier to get humor from the media, check out reruns of comedies on television. Some mobile phone services have services that deliver a joke-of-the-day.

Alternatively, you can learn a joke every few days and keep telling it.

 In a spiritual world, you are not alone.

There are countless paths to spirituality. The right path is the one that works for you - whether it's through religion, new age thinking or your individual belief.  

Things tend to take on a different perspective after a diagnosis. Listen to your inner voice.  

Don't be surprised if your spiritual beliefs change or deepen. Diagnosed eyes see differently.

Anxiety is an emotion that virtually everyone with a serious health condition experiences at some point. The events that trigger anxiety and the duration of anxiety vary from person to person and event to event. Anxiety can result in unwise decisions.

Stress can be injurious to your physical and psychological health and can show up in a variety of ways. 

Fear relating to a treatment can cause feelings of both anxiety and stress.

There are self-help techniques to use to reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. For example: 

• Exercise.
• Share your feelings with supportive family members and friends (your "Team"), your health care team, a support group and/or a mental health professiona..
• Practice forgiveness.
• Use deep breathing exercises.
• With respect to a treatment, learn about your health condition, the nature and purpose of the treatment, the pros and cons including risks, and the alternatives. Talk with your health care team.

For more information, see the articles in To Learn More.

Being in a hospital can be surreal and scary.

Hospitals are mainly designed for the productivity of the doctors and staff, often leaving the patient feeling out of control. However, as you will see in our information about hospitals, you have the ultimate control - including which doctors and nurses will attend you and what, if any, tests and treatments you will undergo.

Keeping in mind how much control you really do have in a hospital setting can help reduce negative emotions.

Also keep in mind that hospitals and other treatment centers generally have social workers, patient navigators and mental health professionals available.

In general, depression is a sadness that continues day after day.

Depression can have a significant impact on quality of life, on the quality of your medical care, and whether you take a necessary treatment or adhere to a drug and/or nutrition regimen.

Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

If you wonder whether you are clinically depressed, there are specific factors to look for which are described in our article on depression.

Depression does not have to be a part of your life. It can be treated in most cases.

NOTE: If you want to stop work, depression is a condition that can be considered to be a "disability" for purposes of Disability Insurance and government programs such as Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI).

While we suggest in the Employment category that you start seeing a therapist in case at some point you want to stop working, there are good emotional reasons as well. You've been dealt a major blow. You have treatment and other major decisions to make.

Particularly now, expression of your emotions is important. So is support. Unlike a support group, even a few sessions with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker gives you the opportunity to discuss whatever comes up one-on-one. It can help regain your footing in the new normal in which you find yourself..

There is help available if your emotions interfere with your life - including free resources.

With respect to suicide, keep in mind that suicide is a permanent solution for what could be a temporary situation. If you're having suicidal thoughts, it may be possible to end your suffering without ending your life. It's worth taking the time to find out.

There are suicide hot lines. There are also mental health professionals available.

Without encouraging you, and following our mission to provide you with all the facts, there is at least one "How To" book in publication.