Your loved ones may need time to adjust to the news that your breast cancer has returned. They need to come to terms with their own feelings. These may include confusion, shock, helplessness, anger, and other feelings. 

Let family members and friends know that they can offer comfort just by:

• Being themselves 
• Listening and not trying to solve problems 
• Being at ease with you. 

Being able to comfort you can help them cope with their feelings. 

 Bear in mind that not everyone can handle the return of cancer. Sometimes a friend or family member can't face the idea that you might not get better. Some people may not know what to say or do for you. As a result, relationships may change, but not because of you. They may change because others can't cope with their own feelings and pain. If you can, remind your loved ones that you are still the same person you always were. Let them know if it is all right to ask questions or tell you how they feel. Sometimes just reminding them to be there for you is enough. 

 It is also okay if you don't feel comfortable talking about your cancer. Some topics are hard to talk about with people you are close to. In this case, you may want to talk with a member of your health care team or a trained counselor. You might want to attend a support group where people meet to share common concerns. 

Family Meetings 

Some families have trouble expressing their needs to each other. Other families simply do not get along. If you don't feel comfortable talking with family members, ask a member of your health care team to help. You could also ask a social worker or other professional to hold a family meeting. This may help family members feel that they can safely express their feelings. 

It can also be a time for you and your family to meet with your entire health care team to solve problems and set goals. Although it can be very hard to talk about these things, studies show that cancer care is a smoother process when everyone remains open and talks about the issues. 

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