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When And How To Tell A Date About Your Health Situation

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There is no right or wrong time for telling a date about your health history. Following are three practical suggestions from patient advocates. 

  • Suggestion 1: Put yourself in the other person's shoes. When would you want to know? 
  • Suggestion 2: Consider telling on the 4th date. On dates 1, 2 and 3 you are getting to know each other. For example, people don't generally talk about their crazy mother on the first or even the second date. If you're on date number 4, the odds are you want to go on with a fifth etc.
  • Suggestion 3: Bring it up fairly early in a relationship, after you have a sense of trust and friendship with the person. If you are rejected, it happens before you become too deeply involved. That doesn't mean bringing it up on the first date, though a first date is okay. See how open and sharing the other person is about his or her personal life and history. 

As you' may have noted, each of the above 3 suggestions  3 suggest telling sooner rather than later. Reports indicate that it is not good to wait until you are just about to have sex to bring up your health history. With these ideas in mind, follow your instincts.

NOTE: Assume that a potential date has "googled" your name. TO find out what he or she is likely to learn,  "Google" your name in popular search engines such as Bing, offsite link Dogpile offsite link, Google a offsite linknd Yahoo offsite link. If references appear which link your name with a particular health condition, it may be wisest to assume that your date already knows.


The more informed and relaxed you are when informing a date about your health, the more relaxed he or she will be. 

  • If you are worried about how you will handle telling someone, practice what you will say in front of a mirror.
  • Think about how the other person might react and the questions that may be asked. For instance; "So, what does this mean? Kids? Sex? Physical changes?" Be ready with a response. 
  • Consider role playing with a friend to hone how you disclose and how you respond to your date's various possible responses. 


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