My Survivorship A to Z Guide
Day to Day Living Important
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Note: This is a sample Survivorship A to Z Guide for a fictitious person we call Ellen. She is just diagnosed with Breast Cancer. To view a summary of her answers which led to this Guide, click here.
To get your own free, computer-generated A to Z Guide, click here.
Think about who to tell about your diagnosis. Not telling anyone is not a realistic option. Consider who to tell. You can always add more people later. Be prepared for all kinds of reactions.
When deciding who to tell about your breast cancer, consider:
- Which of your family and friends you desire to tell.
- When you want to tell them.
- What you want to tell.
- There is no reason to feel any shame about breast cancer, or even the possibility of a mastectomy. As the saying goes: "Shit happens." You are not your breasts. Your breasts do not define your sexuality.
- The need to talk about your emotions. There can be a very heavy toll to pay when you have someone close to you, with whom you share life and emotions, who doesn't know about your diagnosis. You will need to constantly stay on guard because every conversation could unintentionally reveal your secret.
- Once you tell someone, you can't take it back.
When thinking about what you want to say:
- Consider making it clear that you want to be treated as a person living with a disease -- not a victim -- and not the disease. You are the same person you were. Your priorities may be shifting, but not who you are.
- It may not seem fair that putting other people at ease about your health condition is part of your job, but it often is. Telling is likely to stir up their own mortality issues.
- Let people know whether you want them to censor what they say to you, and, if so, how.
- Tell people that you need and appreciate their support.
- Let people know about the unpredictable emotional roller coaster that hits you.
Be prepared for all possible reactions, including the possibility of anger.
- Be understanding of their emotional reaction.
- Be patient with people.
- Give people time to absorb the information -- perhaps to even meet with a professional themselves.
There is likely to be a change in the way people view you, but there is no easy way to predict what that will be. Other people's reactions could range from treating you with sympathy, to the other extreme of avoiding you as much as possible, to anywhere in between.
Nobody said this was going to be easy.
To Learn More
More Information
Which Of My Family And Friends Do I Tell? When To Tell About Your Health Condition And/Or Treatment What To Tell About Your Health Condition and/or TreatmentRelated Articles
Emotions Tips To Help Feel In Control Of Your Emotions Support Groups 101 How To Choose A Mental Health TherapistPeople may start responding to you differently because they may think of you as a victim or that you have a death sentence. Educate them. If that doesn't work, you can keep a distance while feeling particuarly vunerable. [Tell me more]
There are always survivors. There is no reason why you shouldn't be one of them.
Educate people who show this kind of attitude. Let them know that you need support, and how you need that support to show up.
If people with these negative attitudes start to effect you, you can take a break from seeing them until you feel stronger or they start to understand your reality. What other people think can be contagious.