Disclosure: Sharing With Family, Friends, and Acquaintances

Whether you've just been diagnosed or have been living with a diagnosis for a while, there are no real guidelines about who to tell, when to tell them, and what to tell. The answers are completely personal. There is no obligation to tell anyone as long as your health condition is not communicable and you don't put anyone at risk.

The decision about telling is important because once you tell, there is no going back. Even swearing a person to secrecy doesn't assure that your story won't be spread beyond the listener.

When thinking about telling family and friends, keep in mind that bottling up your emotions can be injurious to your physical and mental health. Also, keeping a secret is stressful. The more important the secret, the more the stress.

Before you tell, think about:

• Why.
• Who you want to tell. It is advisable to tell people closest to you first. 
• What you want to tell them.
• The setting.
• Possible reactions and how to respond to them. Expect that everyone will react differently. They need to come to terms with their own feelings  which may include confusion, shock, helplessness, or anger.

Consider rehearsing what you want to say with a person close to you - especially someone who knows the people about whom you are rehearsing. An alternative is to rehearse what to say with a health care professional, such as someone in your doctor's office. If you're not comfortable, consider having someone with you when you tell. 

You can avoid the discussion and give people a chance to adjust to the information before seeing them by asking a family member to share the news with other family and friends.

For additional information see:

• The Pros And Cons Of Telling Family, Friends And Acquaintances
• Which Of My Family and Friends Do I Tell?
• When To Tell  
  
• What To Say 
  
• How To Prepare Before You Tell  
  
• How To Handle Insensitive or Inappropriate Questions  
• Which Of My Family and Friends Do I Tell?
• If you have underage children, see: Telling Children About Your Diagnosis.
• If the question is about people at work: see: Disclosing Your Health Condition To Your Employer; Disclosing Your Condition To Co-Workers.
• If the question relates to dating or sex, see: Dating, Sex.

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