End Of Life

For information about each of the following subjects, see the other sections of this document.

While it may be painful to think about, it is inevitable that at some point we all die. As wonderful as modern medicine is at prolonging life, it has not yet been able to overcome death. Please do not take this to mean that we suggest you give up hope. No matter how certain things seem, you can still have joy in your life. There is always reason to hope. 

Your choice

Just as you have control over how you live, you also have the ability to control the last period of your life.

As a practical matter, it is your choice whether to keep trying to eliminate your disease, to let go and seek the fullest life available in your circumstances, or to choose an in-between path. It is also your choice how much of your personal and financial resources you are willing to spend and for how long. 

It is even your choice how to make the decision: whether on your own, in consultation with family and friends, your clergyman, and/or in consultation with your medical team. Ultimately, we are talking about your life. The final decision is yours.

What care you want

Even at an end stage, you are entitled to good medical care and attention from your health care team.  

Part of your decision is what medical care you do or do not want. The way to assure your desires will be satisfied is to execute the legal documents generally known as Advance Directives. Advance Directives allow you to keep control of your medical care even if you become unable to communicate.  

Thinking about what could happen is not giving up. Writing legal documents about events that could happen is not going to make them happen. The documents and discussions that accompany them just make it more likely that you will get the care you want and that you won't receive the treatments you don't want. Merely executing the documents can bring peace of mind.

Whatever you decide, you can change your mind as often as you desire. 

Continuing medical care

If you want continuing medical care, in addition to providing treatment, your doctor can help control both physical and emotional symptoms. If your doctor isn't aggressive about reducing or eliminating pain, bring in a doctor who will provide such care. Do not be afraid of becoming addicted to pain medication. It is not common in this situation. To learn how to get the medical care you need, see Managing Your Medical Care.

Hospice care

If you decide comfort is your goal rather than to continue to fight the disease, hospice care is available. Hospice care provides physical and emotional comfort to you and your family in a variety of settings, including in your home. Hospice care is generally available for free if necessary. There are doctors who are known as Palliative Care specialists who specialize in end of life care.

Your enviornment

Think about how the space in which you spend these days looks, sounds and smells. This is an opportunity to create the space you've dreamed of.

Leaving early

If you want to leave the planet before nature takes its course, speak with your doctor. Most deaths in this country are negotiated between patients and their doctor. As an alternative, while we do not recommend it, there is also the possibility of assisted suicide and ending your own life.

Planning Ahead

If you haven't already, it is wise to get your affairs in order now. At the least, everyone should have a Will.

If you have made plans, review them to be sure they reflect your current wishes and financial situation.

If you want to save your heirs unnecessary expense and stress, consider pre-planning your funeral. Pre-planning is different than pre-paying.

Ethical Will

Consider putting together a document known as an Ethical Will. It passes on to your heirs information they should know such as your family history, what you learned in your lifetime, and whatever else is important to you. You can create this legacy in whatever way is easiest for you - for instance, by writing a letter, or by putting together a scrap book with annotations.  

Visitation from a Partner

If you are part of an unmarried couple (heterosexual or homosexual), take steps now to assure your partner will be able to visit if you end up in a healthcare facility. Unless you take such steps, he or she may be barred from visiting you because they are not "family."

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