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Ethical Wills

Tips For Writing An Ethical Will

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It's never too soon to start writing an Ethical Will. If you are seriously considering the idea, it may be helpful to put some time on your calendar when you can be alone and start to focus.

Take time to look inward. Writing an Ethical Will can be emotionally challenging. Thinking over your life and sorting through to what really counts likely means also revisiting failures and upsetting times. The examination could lead to the conclusion that the document should not be written. Whatever you decide is correct.

You can address your Ethical Will to your spouse or children, to a special friend, or "To My Family." You may wish to compose more than one Ethical Will, each addressed to a different person or group of people. Listen to your inner guidance. You will know how to proceed.

If it is easier, instead of writing your Ethical Will in one sitting, write your Ethical Will one topic at a time.

Consider such topics as:

  • What I Would Not Want Left Unsaid If I Died Tomorrow
  • My Definition of True Success
  • The Lessons I've Learned In Life
  • Why I Love You and Will Miss You
  • What I Appreciate Most
  • Mistakes I Have Learned From
  • What I Learned From My Parents or Grandparents
  • What Spirituality Means to Me
  • My Happiest and Funniest Moments.
  • My Wishes For My Children

Consider fleshing out your topics with stories the family may not know, or that would be of interest to pass on. Include people or events that have been important in your life. If you a're writing by hand, think about using a separate page for each topic to help keep your thoughts organized. On a computer, you can do the same thing with different files in a folder.

If you enjoy writing poetry or songs, consider including an original composition in your Ethical Will.

If you are not good with written words or you are no longer able to manage a writing instrument, try dictating your Ethical Will onto a digital recorder and/or use a video recorder.

If your penmanship is poor; think about using a typewriter or word processor.

Keep in mind that what you write cannot be taken back after it is delivered.

  • If you are inclined to include anything that could be hurtful to people, give it a second thought before going ahead. If your Ethical Will won't be delivered until after your death, you won't be around to explain what you meant or make things better.
  • If time permits, set aside a draft for a few days or weeks, then review what you've written. Visualize the Ethical Will being read aloud to the family.

Be careful not to contradict your legal documents such as your Will.  Trust Documentsor Advance Directives

Ethical Wills' author Dr. Barry Baines suggests an exercise that he calls "bridging the generations": Envision yourself meeting one of your own ancestors. What questions would you want to ask this person? Your descendants are likely to want the same questions answered by you.

If you write on paper, make sure it's acid-free so it will last for generations. Retailers sell padded leather albums, with silk lining and acid-free paper in which you can store whatever legacy you wish to leave.

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