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Colorectal Cancer: Newly Diagnosed: Day to Day Living (Stages 0, 1)

Think Of Family And Friends As Part Of Your Health Care Team. Ask Them For Help When You Need It.

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Your Team

Think of the appropriate people around you as part of your team, just as doctors and other professionals are part of your team. Each member can provide his or her knowledge, advice and support.

Who is actually involved with you and your health care, and to what degree, is up to you.

You don't have to accept help just because it is offered.

Likewise, you can set limits on peoples' participation in your experience. For example, only spend time with people who are positive and supportive.

Expect that people will let you know when they hear stories about other people with your type of cancer or who have undergone the treatment you decide to take.

  • This information can be overwhelming and not helpful.
  • Feel free to let people know what you do or do not want them to pass on to you.
  • Check any information you do learn with your doctor.

Do not be surprised if some people tend to stay away from you because they don't know what to say or do. Some people may have the irrational notion that cancer is catching. Other people may not want to face thoughts about their own mortality.

Ask For The Help That You Need

Do not wait to ask for help until the burden gets too great or you reach a breaking point. You don't need to be Superman or Wonder Woman and try to deal with everything you did before your diagnosis as well as everything that comes along with a diagnosis. There will be times when you will need help either doing everyday tasks such as grocery shopping, child care, or matters directly related to your health such as bathing, accompanying you to doctor appointments or acting as a patient advocate if you enter a hospital.

Make a list of your chores and responsibilities that you may not be able to handle once treatment starts. Divide them up among your team.

Consider appointing a family member or friend to be an organizer to coordinate family and friends for you. It takes away the burden of doing it yourself. It also helps assure that things don't fall through the cracks. An organizer is also helpful to your other team members because they can more easily say "no" when they have to without fear of offending you.

There are websites with free calendars you can use where people can sign up for meals, driving you to and from medical appointments, cleaning house, etc. For example, www.LotsAHelpingHands.com offsite linkFriends can organize meals through such websites as MealTrain offsite link where you can also list foods you do and do not like.

Entering into a caregiver contract with a family member or friend can help you qualify for Medicaid (Medi-cal in California) if you have too many assets. Such a contract is a legal way of reducing your assets. Survivorship A to Z has a document concerning Caregiver Contracts noted in "To Learn More."

Ask Someone To Go With You To Important Medical Meetings. Take A Recorder.

It is helpful to have a family member or friend attend all important meetings with doctors (a "Patient Advocate"). Until treatment starts, that is basically every meeting with a doctor. Such a person can help in a batch of ways. For instance, help asking questions, help recalling what was said, and help to relieve anxiety.

We strongly encourage you to also take a digital or tape recorder to each session so you can listen more closely to what the doctor said in the comfort of your own home without the stress of being in a medical setting. Get the doctor's consent before using the recorder. There are additional tips like this in Survivorship A to Z's document about maximizing your limited time with a doctor. See "To Learn More."

Think About Their Needs As Well As Your Own

A diagnosis affects everyone around you. It is even said that a diagnosis of cancer is a diagnosis of the entire family.

Your needs come first, but theirs should not be ignored.

Just as you need to share your emotions, they should keep talking with one another. Talking keeps mole hill size difficulties from erupting in to mountain size problems.

Encourage your partner to join a support group of caregivers, for instance at Colon Cancer Alliance’s My CRC Connections (www.MyCRCConnection.ning.com offsite link)

If you are part of a same sex couple, and your partner cannot tell his or her boss or coworkers about your health situation, your partner will feel more alone and isolated than if your health could be talked about. Your partner will likely not be offered the kind of flexibility that benefits many spouses. Talking about the tension will help. (Perhaps your partner can find support and find tips by talking with someone else who has experienced a similar situation).

Relax Family Rules To Fit The Situation

For example:

  • Meals could be eaten on paper plates with throw away plastic utensils.
  • Chores that don't need to be done right away can be postponed.

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