Content Overview 
- Overview
- Take time to breathe. You are a person living with HIV - not a person dying of it. Whatever happened, happened. There is no use dwelling on it.
- HIV Basics
- Commit yourself to doing everything you can to keep the virus in check. Don't make any major decisions that you don't have to make right now.
- Look for a doctor with a large HIV practice who is connected with a quality hospital, in a different locale if necessary. Learn how to maximize your time with doctors.
- Decide whether to start treatment. If so, choose a treatment that fits your life. If you have any question about which treatment to take, get a second opinion.
- Learn to be wise about purchasing, living with, storing and disposing of drugs. Free drugs may be available.
- Non-Western treatments should be complementary, not instead of Western treatments. Cutting edge treatments are available if needed through clinical trials.
- Decide who to tell about your HIV status, and when. Your answers may be different for family and friends, children and work. If not before, tell your children about your diagnosis if you have symptoms.
- Think of family and friends as part of your health care team. Ask for help when you need it.
- Share your emotions. Seek someone to talk with who is going through the same thing you are. Consider joining a support group.
- Start examining your insurance and financial situation to determine how to pay for medical care and drugs or access them for free if you don't have the resources. If you don't have health coverage, get it. You still can.
- Pay attention to your financial basics such as paying your rent on mortgage on time. Keep track of medical expenses. They may be deductible.
- Don't go on a spending spree.
- If you work, learn about your legal rights and benefits, consider who to tell or not, negotiate an accommodation if you need one. Look for an advisor. If you are unable to work, learn how to apply for SSDI/SSI.
- Start getting your legal affairs in order - not because you're going to die from HIV but because the diagnosis can be a trigger to action. It will help you feel in control and help keep you busy.
- Learn about the HIV resources in your community.
- Drugs do not work in a vacuum. Start to think of the food you eat, the exercise you get, rest/sleep and even proper care of your mouth as steps you can take to make drugs and treatments most effective.
- Although a major source of transmission of HIV is through bodily contact, you can still be physically intimate with people. Learn how to avoid transmitting HIV to other people.
- If you have a pet, learn what you need to know to keep both of you healthy.
- Watch for mental conditions that affect your life. Depression, anxiety and other emotional side effects, can be treated.
Newly Diagnosed With HIV
Decide who to tell about your HIV status, and when. Your answers may be different for family and friends, children and work. If not before, tell your children about your diagnosis if you have symptoms.
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Whether to tell people about your HIV status, when to tell them, and what to tell, depends on the situation and why you are thinking of disclosing the information. The decision is a purely personal one. There is no right and wrong unless there is a risk of infecting another person with HIV virus.
In general, there are four situations which give rise to this question. What you decide to do may vary in each situation. The four situations are:
- Family, Friends and Acquaintances
- Children
- The non-medical professionals in your life such as your lawyer
- Work
In each situation, consider:
- The pros and cons of telling.
- Preparing before you tell.
There are a few givens:
- Keeping a secret is stressful. The greater the secret, the greater the stress.
- There is no going back once you tell. As they say: "The cat's out of the bag."
- Tell your sex partners and other people whenever there is a risk of transmitting HIV.
If you have children
- Consider telling them about your diagnosis. If you have symptoms they are likely to notice, they will know something is wrong. If you don’t tell them what is happening, children frequently assume it is something they did wrong.
- Tell each child in a manner that is appropriate for his or her age. Children will know something is happening and will likely assume it is their fault if they are not told.
- Once you tell a child, watch for aftereffects. They may not show up for awhile.
- If you need help either telling your children or dealing with their reactions, seek professional help. Also speak with your local disease specific nonprofit organization. They may have tips for you, or can point you to support groups where you may gain necessary information.
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