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Information about all aspects of finances affected by a serious health condition. Includes income sources such as work, investments, and private and government disability programs, and expenses such as medical bills, and how to deal with financial problems.
Information about all aspects of health care from choosing a doctor and treatment, staying safe in a hospital, to end of life care. Includes how to obtain, choose and maximize health insurance policies.
Answers to your practical questions such as how to travel safely despite your health condition, how to avoid getting infected by a pet, and what to say or not say to an insurance company.

Summary

It is advisable to tell children about your health condition. They will know something is wrong and are likely to blame themselves. When thinking about what to say, when and in what setting, keep in mind your child's age - as well as the individuality of the specific child..

Think about each child's emotional needs and monitor your child for emotional problems.

It will help the child and you if you make each child a member of your team. Consider giving them reasonable chores to do.

Look for ways to stay in your children's lives.

Keep your medicines away from your children. Follow the rules when giving children their own medicines.

Make provision for what should be done if you have a medical emergency and cannot take care of a child. It is advisable to include provision in case a child has a medical emergency while someone else is temporarily in charge.

Also make arrangements in case of your death if there is no other spouse, or one that you want your child to live with. For example, consider arranging for a guardian or foster care or adoption.

Last, but not least, consider putting together a Will, and an Ethical Will for your children. The idea behind an Ethical Will is to pass on what is important to you both in terms of life and family history etc that you want to pass on to your children.

NOTE:

  • With respect to health insurance, for policies issued on or after September 23, 2010, children cannot be denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition and can likely stay on your coverage until age 26.
  • If you are considering having children:
    • If you have cancer: Talk with your doctor about freezing your eggs or banking sperm before underdoing treatment.
    • If you have HIV/AIDS: It is possible to conceive a child without infecting your partner. It is also possible for an HIV positive woman to give birth without infecting the child.

For more information,see:

When You Can't Take Care Of Your Children Temporarily

There are several ways to legally assure your children will be taken care of if you may become unable to take care of them and the other parent is deceased or not fit.

While an informal arrangement may work for a while, keep in mind that the person who takes care of the children has no legal right to make decisions about medical care if something happens to one of the children or about such other matters as schooling.

While it may be very difficult to think about this subject, making legal arrangements for the care of your children will assure that they will not be left alone or abandoned if you become incapacitated and can't care for them, or if you die. Having the opportunity to choose the type of family or agency that will care for your children will also comfort you.

Alternatives include the following.The linked to articles provide an overview of each of the different alternatives, including the pros and cons. Speak with your attorney or social worker to help figure out which alternative will work best for your situation.

How Do I Prepare My Children?

Be open and honest with your children. Explain the situation to them in terms that they can understand. (For ideas about how to talk with children of different ages, see Talking With Children About Your Health Condition.

Address their questions and concerns.

If there is a move involved for the children, consider the following:

  • Take the children to visit the place to which they are moving.
  • Go with the child at first.
  • Extend the amount of time the child is in the new place and visiting with the person or people with whom they will live.
  • Have extended discussions with the person or people who will take over raising your children. Discuss how your children have been raised, and how you want them raised. Discuss differences between your child rearing and theirs. Come to conclusions about differences. As much continuity as possible is best for the children.
  • Keep in mind that the key is what is best for the children.

If you need professional help, bring in a social worker or psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

Keep Alert For Each Child's Emotional Needs

Keep in mind that children are going through stress.  In addition to stress they likely feel on their own, your emotions as well as those of other members of your household filter down to them.

Expect each child's needs to be very individual.

Do not be surprised if a child's emotions surface well after a fact.  Watch for changes, such as with school grades or general interests. For information about helping children cope, click here

If your child doesn't have a pet, this may be a good time to get one. A pet can help deal with emotions. It doesn't have to be a dog or cat. (We offer tips about determining the right pet, caring for it, and traveling with it despite your health condition).

Ask for help or advice if you need it. In additional to friends and family, professional mental health therapists are available, including people who specialize in life changing conditions or children. In addition:

  • Some hospitals offer programs designed to help parents. The help is often outside the hospital, for instance via the web. Help is also often individualized.
  • Check with your local disease specific nonprofit organization. For instance, help is available to a parent with cancer from Cancer Support Community, (formerly The Wellness Community and Gilda's Club Worldwide): see www.TheWellnessCommunity.org offsite link or Tel. 888 793-WELL.
  • Look for another parent with children similar to yours. It helps to share experiences and concerns. Your disease specific nonprofit organization can help you locate such a person.

NOTE: There are camps for children of parents with cancer. For example, see: www.campkesem.org offsite link

How To Take Care Of Your Children If You Can't Long Term Or Are No Longer On The Planet

There are several ways to legally assure your children will be taken care of if you may become unable to take care of them and the other parent is deceased or not fit.

While an informal arrangement may work for a while, keep in mind that the person who takes care of the children has no legal right to make decisions about medical care if something happens to one of the children or about such other matters as schooling.

While it may be very difficult to think about this subject, making legal arrangements for the care of your children will assure that they will not be left alone or abandoned if you become incapacitated and can't care for them, or if you die. Having the opportunity to choose the type of family or agency that will care for your children will also comfort you.

Alternatives include the following.The linked to articles provide an overview of each of the different alternatives, including the pros and cons. Speak with your attorney or social worker to help figure out which alternative will work best for your situation.

How Do I Prepare My Children?

Be open and honest with your children. Explain the situation to them in terms that they can understand. (For ideas about how to talk with children of different ages, see Talking With Children About Your Health Condition.

Address their questions and concerns.

If there is a move involved for the children, consider the following:

  • Take the children to visit the place to which they are moving.
  • Go with the child at first.
  • Extend the amount of time the child is in the new place and visiting with the person or people with whom they will live.
  • Have extended discussions with the person or people who will take over raising your children. Discuss how your children have been raised, and how you want them raised. Discuss differences between your child rearing and theirs. Come to conclusions about differences. As much continuity as possible is best for the children.
  • Keep in mind that the key is what is best for the children.

If you need professional help, bring in a social worker or psychologist or psychiatrist.

Ways To Stay Involved In Your Children's Lives

Just in case you need a reminder, following are some time tested ways to stay involved in a child's life.

Focus on the most important activities.

If you can only do one thing with each of your children, what's most important? Make a list of all the options. If possible, get the children's input. You may be surprised by what they choose.

Send someone else.

Is there another adult in your child's life who can go to an event that you can't? Maybe this adult can videotape or take pictures of the event. Carpool. Take turns driving with other parents.
 
Be around before and after.

Try to be around to help prepare your children for an activity and to welcome them home.

Ask for a replay.

If you can't be there, sit down with your children to hear about what they did. Or have your children re-create some of the things that happened.

Create new ways of connecting.

Come up with new ways to connect. Even 5 minutes alone with each child without interruptions can make a world of difference.

  • Make a point of tucking them in at bedtime, eating together, or talking on the phone or by e-mail.
  • Have a set time when your children do homework while you do something else in the same room.
  • Take a walk together.

Involve your children in "your" activities.

Could your children join you for any of your activities? Even going to the grocery store could be time spent together. Your children may feel special if they can attend adult events with you.

Stay involved with their schooling.

Check with their teachers to find out how your children are doing in school. Or ask a guidance counselor or coach for input.

Passage Of Assets To Underage Children

Children cannot take ownership of assets if they are underage as defined by the laws of your state. (Generally age 18, but possibly older). hHowever, there are alternatives for providing for their needs while underage. For information, click here

If you haven't already, write a challenge-proof Will in addition to any other means you've used to pass assets to your children. Provide who is to possess and manage the assets until your children come of age.

Having Or Adopting Children In The Future

Adoption

If you are considering adopting children, because of federal law, the adoption agency cannot consider your health condition. For information about adopting a child, click here.

If you are considering having children

Before you agree to a treatment which may prevent you from having children, speak with your doctor about freezing eggs if you are a woman, or banking sperm if you are a man.

Conception can also occur with a sperm donation from a known donor or sperm bank.  For information about preserving your ability to have a child, click here.

HIV:  Inception

  • Unprotected sex is discouraged for a person is HIV positive. However, assisted reproductive technologies can permit pregnancy while minimizing the risk of HIV being transmitted to the uninfected partner. This can occur either through intrauterine insemination (in the uterus) or in vitro (in a test tube).
  • If it is the male who is HIV positive, the sperm is isolated from the semen and "washed" -- a procedure that is done in a laboratory (not at home). Sperm does not carry HIV. Semen does.
  • Alternatively, positive-negative couples may have a low-risk, lower-cost choice that should only be attempted under the supervision of a doctor who specializes in treatment of people with HIV. A doctor in Switzerland (Dr. Pietro Vernazza) counseled 22 couples. The men took HIV medications until their viral load was undetectable for three months. Their semen was then tested for HIV, and the women for fertility. When both HIV-free semen and female fertility occurred at the same time, the women were prescribed several doses of a pre-exposure prophylaxis. 70% of the women became pregnant. None of then got HIV. 
  • HIV: Transmission To A Child  HIV can be transmitted to a child in the uterus or after birth through breast feeding. The risk ot transmitting HIV to an unborn child from an HIV positive mother can be substantially reduced by using AZT and possibly other drugs. In one study, the risk was reduced to 1.5% of those women who received antiretroviral treatment and appropriate care during their pregnancy. According to the Public Health Service Task Force report in November 2007, combination antiviral regimens are more effective than single-drug regimens in reducing transmission.
  • The Task Force encourages using alternatives to breast feeding. The Task Force report is available at: http://aidsinfo.nih.gov/contentfiles/PerinatalGL.pdf offsite link

Health Insurance For Your Children

Health Insurance

  • Health Plans Issued Before September 23, 2010: Thanks to Health Reform 2010, if your health plan covers children,  you can most likely add or keep our children on your health insurance until he or she turns 26 yeras of age if the child doesn't have coverage on the job.
  • Health Plans Effective On Or After September 23, 2010: Thanks to Health Reform 2010, health plans cannot limit or deny benefits or deny coverage for a child younger than age 19 simply because the child has a pre-existing health condition. If your health plan covers children,  you can most likely add or keep your children on your health insurance until he or she turns 26 years of age if the child doesn't have other coverage.

Children's Health Insurance Program: CHIP: CHIP provides health insurance for targeted children under age 19, who do not qualify for Medicaid. For more information, click here