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My Survivorship A to Z Guide

Emotional Well Being Essential

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Note: This is a sample Survivorship A to Z Guide for a fictitious person we call John. John is just diagnosed with HIV. To view a summary of his answers which led to this Guide, click here.

To get your own free, computer-generated A to Z Guide, click here.

A diagnosis of HIV/AIDS predictably brings emotional upheaval. There is no rhyme or reason that explains the order in which emotions show up. If guilt or shame show up, be kind to yourself.

It would be nice if you could turn the clock back and avoid becoming infected, but you can't. How you got HIV is no longer relevant. What is relevant is how you live going forward.

Fight feelings of guilt or shame. They serve no useful purpose. Thinking about "if only...." will only add to your pain.

It helps to taking part in a support group with other people infected with HIV. Talking about your emotions and hearing what other people are going through may be particularly helpful in coping with, and releasing, feelings of guilt or shame.

If the guilt and/or shame become overwhelming, speak with a mental health professional. If you can, find someone who has experience counseling patients with HIV/AIDS.

Release emotions that surface before they affect your physical or mental health. Share them with family and friends -- and co-workers if you disclose your condition at work. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for the people who want to help. [Tell me more]

Bottling-up emotions and not talking about them can be injurious to your health.

Many people find release by writing down their thoughts - or incorporating them in their art. These can be totally private activities and available 24/7. Both of these expressions can also help you discover how you really feel.

If you are not used to sharing your feelings, it's time to learn. Your health is at stake.

  • Consider waiting to express your feelings to your family until you're more used to expressing them so you can balance the needs of the listener.
  • You can experiment with releasing your emotions in a non-threatening setting such as in a support group. 
    • Support Groups (also known as mutual self-help groups) are groups of people with the same health condition who come together for two compelling reasons: support and to learn practical information from people who are having, or who have had, similar experiences. Members help each other.
    • Support groups have a lot of benefits even if you have a lot of support from family and friends. Among other reasons to join a support group, studies indicate that support groups are good for your health. Some research shows that joining a support group improves quality of life and enhances survival. Support groups are also a good source of practical information about living with your health condition.
    • There are all kinds of support groups so the odds are there is at least one in which you will feel comfortable. (Your health care team may have suggestions about support groups near you.)

If needed, professional mental help therapists such as a social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist are available. 

On a personal basis, before sharing your emotions, decide which friends and family to tell about your diagnosis now. You can tell others later, if at all. 

At work, first decide whether to tell your boss and/or co-workers, and if so, which ones. Once you tell someone, you can't undo the telling.

These subjects are discussed further in the articles listed in "To Learn More."